I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wear drunk well.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
