True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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