This girl is more easily done than said...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
