I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
