i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
