I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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