nut hugger
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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