Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she peed on how many people?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
