fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
