never play flip cup with pint glasses
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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