this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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