He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
