I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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