K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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