I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
