all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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