Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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