I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
