she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i believe in u and ur pee
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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