lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
