We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
