I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
