YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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