tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
