Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
