I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
