YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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