so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
