What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
