I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize