yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
only you would photoshop your dick
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I can't put those talents on a resume
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
