??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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