walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
