I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
