I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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