I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
