I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
