We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
