i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
