I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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