you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
