YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He better not be in your backpack
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
