Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
