that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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