Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
