we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
A bitchslap is in order.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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