Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
