'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
