There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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