There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
