Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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