i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
