My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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