no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
