trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
