tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
