So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
