The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Enjoy the penises
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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