Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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