He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
