Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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