IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
